“Am I making my child’s anxiety worse?”

“I always was anxious as a kid, and so I’m worried my child gets it from me.”

“I have anxiety, too, so I know it’s my fault.”

Parents often call me with these questions and comments. As a parent, it can be hard when you see your child struggling with the exact same issues that you had. You want to help them, and you also feel a little bit…guilty. Maybe it’s your fault they’re this way.

But it’s really not your fault

And feeling guilty, even if it makes sense, doesn’t make things easier. So let’s take a step back and figure out what is leading to your child’s anxiety in the first place.

Starting next week, we’ll begin our 8 week series on anxiety and parenting - and there’s a lot that we’ll be digging into:

1. The Building Blocks of Anxiety

2. Managing Your Own Anxiety as a Parent

3. Parenting Anxious Pre-Schoolers and Elementary Schoolers

4. Anxiety and Parenting a Child with Anger Management Issues (spoiler: it’s probably anxiety related as well!)

5. Perfectionism and Parenting Your Highschooler

6. Preparing Your Highschooler for College

7. Out of the Nest: How to Parent Your Anxiety-Driven College Student

8. Moving Forward and Next Steps

That’s a lot of info… so why am I covering all of this?

“I’m not eating that! Gross!”

When you go to a restaurant, you bring an extra meal for your kid. You and your partner make dinner, and your little one has a whole separate menu for themselves. You'd rather have them eat something than nothing, but you're almost worried that if they eat another chicken nugget, they're going to turn into one. 

Why are kids such picky eaters?

There are a lot of different reasons that kids can be picky eaters - but part of the underlying issue can be anxiety - and not just fear of new foods. 

They'll only eat mayonnaise on white bread. Or they'll eat applesauce on Tuesdays and Tuesdays alone. That picky eating can be part of their exerting control on a little corner of their world. The feel overwhelmed and anxious about everything else, so at least they have a say on what they eat and when.

Anxious kids can also have sensory processing issues with food as well.

And in times like these, it may be helpful to have them meet with an occupational therapist who can help with their eating issues.

5 steps to help parents of picky eaters (read more…)

Anxious or bratty kids?

Back in September, I contributed to an article entitled "Is Your Child Anxious Or Just Bratty? Experts Explain How to Tell," found on Romper, exploring the differences underpinning these two behaviors. What contributes to your child's anxiety vs. what contributes to them acting "bratty?" 

Anger and anxiety go hand-in-hand. For a child who experiences anxiety, their poor test grade may lead to a huge angry outburst. Or missing the goal at soccer practice may lead to them storming off the field. Their anxiety overruns their pre-frontal cortex, making it impossible for them to stop and think about their actions, and choose something different.